she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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