Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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