Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
please come you make the beer taste better
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
