Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize