You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I did not marry a roomba.
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