I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
