chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
