wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
