Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
