its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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