how can u be prego again
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
