I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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