Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
