It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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