Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize