the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How external is "for external use only"?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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