shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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