I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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