Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
