I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she smelled like a LAN party
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
