I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
