no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i dont even know how to be here
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
God I need to hump something, right now.
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