I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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