You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
