meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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