fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
