Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
