Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Buhtt sex?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
