Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
