3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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