I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
