Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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