Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
two words: eviction party
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
