that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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