Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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