Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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