he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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