And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
there is glitter all over my balls
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
