sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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