tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
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he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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