no, he came in my armpit
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
