He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
