Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
