My boss' voice literally gives me gas
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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