I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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