Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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