the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have aggressive nipples.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
