I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize