the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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