i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize