Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
