it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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