he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
