i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
