i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
