Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm at about main and main street
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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