People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
