Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
