Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
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Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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