Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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