Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
