Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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